I'm still a bit flushed. After all, it had been awhile since I'd been, well, not to put too fine a point on it, seduced.
No, I don't expect you to know what I mean.
And by a - well, not a sissy exactly. But a strikingly, er, accomodating, male.
It started in conversation of course. Always does, you know. Yes, he was pleading, but without really pleading. Just being so casual, so open about things. What things? Oh, pretty much everything. Humor. Frustrations. Desires. He could barely speak of needs. Not because he doesn't have them. But because he felt like, as if he didn't actually deserve them. Not in his state. Neither here nor there, really.
And so attentive! he really just hung on my every word, my every inflection. Even when I asked about things he never said "No." No matter what it was! The most unusual notion popped into my mind, one that I was sure he'd never contemplate, even for a moment (yes, it is a tender bit, and people don't like to imagine being without it), he just said, "i hadn't thought of that."
It was a particular thought of mine that got me going. The way he leaned back into me, resting himself against my shoulder. Kind of melting, really, as if he wished to disappear into the fold of my arm. he just wanted so badly ... so terribly badly ... to be embraced for all of himself. his confusion. his wanting. The ache he felt in his chest. So tender. It made me think of my breasts when my body first started being flooded with hormones and how even the thought of a touch made me withdraw.
Despite how much he wanted, the thing he wanted more than anything was simply be able to share what I felt and to understand what I was thinking or might want. It wasn't of himself that he spoke, unless I prodded him, but of what my desires might be like, what I felt was important to talk about.
And when I put my arm around his neck and down across his shoulder, and my hand came to rest lightly on his chest, on his breast, and I felt a faint roundness, there was a sigh that escaped his lips, a sigh that felt endless, timeless, eternal. Released by the lightest of touches. When I cupped him in my hand, gently, his body seemed to melt into mind and he said just the sweetest thing:
"Please. i need to please You so terribly. Please let me."
his voice so was soft, i could barely hear it. But it had a resonance that shuddered down my spine and ran through my back and shoulders. I had no choice, really.
I let him.
And now she's mine.