If only I'd had him here and a nice, beefy dildo. Nothing crass and vulgar.
It was one of those smart ass callers. Oh, alright. He was one of those smart ass callers. You know the kind, or can imagine - the ones who are saying, 'Bet you can't make me say uncle.' I actually said what I'd wanted to for some time: 'No, but if you give Me your father-in-law's number, I imagine he will.'
The fool. He should have just gotten off the phone. But, of course, he didn't.
We chatted. This and that. What's the weather like there. How fat his dick is. How he couldn't stand those neutered 'guys' who get manicures and hold the little woman's purse at the mall. I think he was too well brought up to actually use the offensive derogatory slang for men who prefer the company of their own gender in intimate settings, the word that begins with F and ends with T.
Sigh. I asked him how it feels when a woman's silky slip accidentally touches his cock. He had to pause for a moment - he wasn't on autopilot any more.
With some guys, that's all it takes. A little sneak attack. (Yes, if I do say so myself, I can be a bit sneaky.) I could almost hear the blood rushing from one head to the other, and what was so wonderful about it is that he just didn't get it. Yes, yes, I described the soft fabric sliding across the tip of his cock and how it must feel just so nice to him when it comes up under the shaft and lingers just beneath the head and runs over the slit.
Gawd it didn't take much. He was pumped up and all almost hootin' and hollerin' and ready to praise be to, well, You know, and I said, 'Feels so nice, when it slides across the tip, and what's interesting is that the only guys who really notice that - well, they wind up wearing the slips themselves, and I can bet that you'd look just lovely in one.'
He lost it. Yes, his load.
So, I asked him - politely, of course - 'Why did it make you cum when I talked about you wearing a slip - you're not a sissy by any chance, are you?'
He swore a few times and hung up the phone.
But I know him. Guys like him.
He'll be back. They always are.